Zetor takes a stand against multinational oil giants and global warming. The motorist of tomorrow can laugh at soaring oil prices and fill the tank with Zetor Biodiesel!

According to a classified study by the Zetor Economics Think Thank, people are spending an increasing proportion of their salary on fossil fuels. This only serves the interests of oil tycoons and miscreants of global climate change. The shocking study mobilized the Zetor board, which has committed itself to "...change the direction things are going, and begin a new chapter in the history of Man."

“I reckon something ought to be done”, summarized the chairman of the board, ex-president Mauno Koivisto.

The board contemplated a solution until the wee hours of the morning, powered by song, dance and alcoholic beverages. Alas, to no avail. The next day, however, an epiphany struck Zetor restaurant manager Niklas Wiedmer:

“I sipped some Finnish moonshine, pontikka, in my usual workday manner, and that really revved up my engine! In fact I actually got some work done.” reflects Wiedmer. Thus a new diesel replacement fuel, Zetor Biodiesel, was born.

Research was immediately undertaken by Zetor's R&D section. The leader of the

Filling up with Biodiesel is easy, and gas pumps are a thing of the past! The user can recycle empty Biodiesel bottles as containers for his own “beverages”.

research team, Ph.D. Uuve Tötterström, says the preliminary results are cause for great optimism:
“In a series of clinical tests we managed to differentiate the structure of C6 H12 O6 so that in just five nanoseconds we were observing stable, highly potent C2 H5 OH.”

The Research Dept. has already used the new “go-juice” in the ploughing of its own barley fields. With three litres of Zetor Biodiesel in a standard Zetor tractor tank, the ploughing of 100 acres of field was accomplished 2.394 units/min faster , while costs were reduced by 57.982%.
 
Zetor Biodiesel has drawn considerable attention worldwide and is rapidly gaining in popularity. Our foreign correspondents report nervous fear and

gnashing of teeth in the offices of multinational oil giants. Grateful politicians travel to Zetor in groups of three, bringing gold, frankincense and myrrh.

“Zetor Biodiesel is moving us towards a new world order. Everyone will be blessed with enough money and we anticipate a golden era of global peace. This is the greatest discovery since nukular power.” comments U.S. President, George W. Bush.
 
Zetor’s share price has rocketed in the year following the announcement of Zetor Biodiesel, forcing the Helsinki Stock Exchange to build extra floors. Zetor’s weight in the HEX index has grown so significantly that the Stock Exchange floors have been reinforced.

Zetor plans to introduce Biodiesel to the global market in the fifth quarter of 2007.

Measurements convince Ph.D. Tötterström: Zetor Biodiesel packs quite a punch.